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From: "Tragiyahn Nhozemphtekh" <felidae_88@hotmail.com>
To: <TLK-L@lionking.org>
Sent: Thursday, September 15, 2005 7:28 AM
Subject: Why not lose all hope?

> Throughout history mankind has conceived all varieties of false ideas and

I can SO get in tune with this one.  One time I had this false idea that I
could make friends with hyenas by arming myself with naught more than a
lingonberry cheesecake.  I quickly discovered that hyenas do not like
lingonberries, but they DO like flesh.  Given that a large part of me is
composed of flesh, this left me in a bit of a quandary as I found myself
surrounded by ravenous, slavering hyenas who appeared to regard me as a
mobile smorgasbord.  I considered my limited options at this point, which
seemed to consist of either running away, or running away screaming.

I'm afraid that I opted for the indignity of the second choice, and I ran
away screaming and learning about spontaneous incontinence on more than a
mere conceptual level.  Fortunately I managed to protect the cheesecake from
damage, since I had another - false, it seems - idea that I could offer it
to some lions in exchange for protection from the hyenas.  Imagine my
chagrin when I discovered that lions also prefer flesh to the tart goodness
of lingonberries.  By serendipitous happenstance, lions detest hyenas
slightly more than they love the taste of flesh, and the selfsame lions and
hyenas quickly engaged each other in a violent meeting.

I skulked off, spooked but wiser, and decided to eat the lingonberry
cheesecake by myself.  I glomped a large spoonful of the cheesecake into my
mouth and realized that it was nihilism incarnate.  In an id-crushing
instance of realization I concluded that a loving god would never have
allowed such an abomination to exist.  It was utterly and completely the
most horrible food that has ever passed my lips in either direction.  I
suppose it might almost have been passable if I hadn't made it with expired
cheese.

I think that's when I began to lose all hope.

* Plonq

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